Rad Rev: How To Help A Hurting Friend
Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (NIV)
Grief is hard. Losing a loved one, a treasured pet, a house, or a cherished dream can slice deep. Even when it doesn’t happen to us, but rather to someone we care about.
Have you ever had your own heart-break as you sat and watched someone else’s splinter and shatter into a thousand pieces? What do you do when that happens?
IDEAS ON HOW TO HELP
- Be there. Offer a shoulder to cry on or wrap your friend in a hug. Oftentimes, this will mean more to them than anything else you could do.
- Pray for them. Never underestimate the power of prayer to impact someone’s life or heal their hurt. You might feel powerless to help them, but you can always, always count on God knowing just how to heal them.
- Meet a need. Walk their dog. Vacuum their house. Take them a meal (or if you are culinary-challenged, choose a restaurant gift card instead). If you drive, offer chaffering services (when someone dies, family members sometimes fly into town and might need rides to the funeral, etc.).
- Send Scripture. Through a tweet, a note on their Facebook wall, or best yet, a card or short letter, tell them you love them and that God loves them.Keep asking. You don’t want to push too much, but when the chaos smooths out and real life resumes, that’s when your friend will need you the most. The pain isn’t squelched after just a week. So ask how they’re doing or if they need anything. Often. It means the world to know you remember.
One of the things I love most about Jesus is that He saw people and never shied away from their pain. Showing compassion can make us feel uncomfortable, but it’s always worth shining Christ’s love into hurting lives.
Dear God, my heart breaks for ______ today. I know they’re going through a rough time and I ask that You heal their hurts and show me what I can do to be a blessing. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
SHARE IT
Have you ever been going through a hard time and had someone blow you away with kindness?
LIVE IT
Write out an encouraging Scripture (Psalms is a treasure trove!) on a pretty note card and mail it to a friend.
Visit this devo at Rad Revolution:
MORE ABOUT RACHELLE
Rachelle Rea keeps a Smile Box full of notes, letters, cards, and tiny trinkets friends have given her that have touched her heart. Another box holds colorful note cards that are perfect for scribbling Scripture on and sending to hurting hearts. A college sophomore, Rachelle coaches gymnastics at her local YMCA.
For more from Rachelle, visit her atwww.rachellerea.com.
teen photo by: David Castillo Dominici
Miracle in Your Mouth By Michelle Medlock Adams
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Proverbs 18:21 KJV)
Have you ever heard the expression, “There is a miracle in your mouth”? No one really knows who first coined that phrase, but it is a very true statement. In fact, according to this verse in Proverbs, life and death are in the power of the tongue. That being the case, wouldn’t it be better to use our mouths to speak life instead of death? Wouldn’t it be more productive to speak words of victory instead of defeat?
Successful athletes have been using their mouths in this way for many years. The Golf Channel recently did a feature story about Golf Legend Gary Player. In this interview, Player shared something very interesting. He said that from the time he took up golf at age 14, he would wake up, look himself in the mirror, and say, “I’m going to be the best golfer in the whole world.” It’s no wonder that in 1965 at age 29, he won golf’s Grand Slam—the Masters, the U.S. Open, the British Open and the PGA. At that time, he was the youngest competitor to ever reach that pinnacle. How did he do it? He saw himself as a winner and a champion long before his talents merited such talk. He understood the power of words.
Think of every word as a container—filled with either life or death. Think before you spew words everywhere. Speak only good things into your life. If you can’t say anything positive, then just zip it up! Only say what the Word says about your situation. If you don’t like your life right now, do a mouth check. Are you saying what God says? Change your words, and you’ll change your world.
Grace Principle: Evangelist and author Darlene Bishop says, “Your life follows your words.” In fact, she wrote a book with that exact title (Legacy Publishers International).
Michelle Adams is a successful and award-winning author. She teaches at writers conferences across the country and shares her love of the written word with aspiring writers. Visit Michelle at www.michellemedlockadams.com
GOSSIP is Poision! – Erin Lanier
“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” (Proverbs 17:9 NIV)
Gossip is like poison darts that sail through the air to stab someone in the back. The victims are unaware of the danger until the damage is done. Someone alway
s gets hurt. Gossip separates close friends and drives rivals even further apart– sometimes to the breaking point. Fights, both verbal and physical, break out. Gossip is fuel for grudges, feuds, and arguments. Yet still we continue on with this drivel of words that is most likely not even true.
Everyone does it, unfortunately. Sometimes without realizing it. You’re just talking with your friend about how you’re gonna spend your summer and then bam! You’ve said something you shouldn’t have about someone. Word gets around real fast. It spreads like poison.
Of course some of you may have been the victim of gossip, and you know how it hurts. Why would you want to inflict that pain on someone else? If you are the victim of gossip remember that it doesn’t matter what everyone else might think about you, only what God knows to be true. So next time if the situation is switched and you’re the one in the position to say something about someone, stop yourself and watch what you say. Either stop the conversation or walk away. It’s your choice, I pray you make the right one.
GOOD RESOURCE
READ ABOUT MEAN GIRLS.…bullying, gossip and how we hurt others. Have you been a victim. Worse–are you the one who dishes this out? See how God wants you to live.
Mean Girls– By Hayley DiMarco
Why is it so tough to be a girl? Whether it’s at school, in the mall, or even online, girls are mean to each other. Most girls will admit that they have been a victim of a mean girl. In fact, many will say that all girls are basically mean. Whether they’re teasing a girl because of how she looks, making up rumors to torment others, or launching an online campaign to destroy their target, girls can be just plain ruthless. This one-of-a-kind book has helped end the cycle of meanness for tens of thousands of girls. Mean Girls is a call to spiritual strength. A call to stand firm. It calls girls to face the beasts in their lives head on. In short, it’s the answer girls need for the problem they never thought could go away. This completely revised edition of Mean Girls will reach junior highers and high schoolers where they are with the help and advice they crave. It has been redesigned inside and out to match the award-winning look of DiMarco’s other popular books.
Publisher: Revell
ISBN-13: 9780800732936
$9.99
ERIN LANIER
Hey guys, I’m Erin. I’m 14 years old–soon to be 15. I have lived in Texas my whole life–Texas girl through and through, but, no, I do not ride a horse to school. I have two awesome parents. My dad is a professor at the local university and my mom is a stay at home writer. My older sister Holly has a job up north so I don’t get to see her much, but I love it when we do get to visit her. I have three very loud, annoying, but somehow really lovable dogs. I am a sophomore in high school and a black belt in Tae Kwan Do. I enjoy acting, singing, reading, and writing. I absolutely love acting! I have been in several productions at my community theater and at my school. (read more…)
BFF’s
I’m the sort of person who can walk into a room full of strangers and come out with at least three email addresses, home addresses, and phone numbers.
Over the sixteen years of my life, I’ve had many types of friends. I’ve had acquaintances – those people you say ‘hi’ to at random places, maybe exchange an email address – but nothing ever comes of it. Those are friendships you don’t remember. They don’t impact your life.
I’ve had middle friends – you don’t keep in touch that often, but you’ve been friends for years, always good for a phone call.
Then, there are best friends. I’ve had a few best friends throughout my life – not many, but some. And you can meet them in all sorts of different ways.
Some of my best friends I haven’t even met. We maintain a steady email/blogging/phone call relationship without ever having seen each other face to face. I am blessed at the moment to have several amazing friends – a Kindred Spirit AND a Best Friend among them (yes, they’re different things).
And you know what’s great about these girls? My Best Friend, I can call any time, any day, and she will patiently listen while I vent about anything and everything. When I’m on the phone with her, I laugh so loud that it’s heard all over the house and everyone knows who I’m talking to. We can share secrets, funny stories, and dreams. We talk, cry, vent, and giggle over everything from God to guys.
My Kindred Spirit? Well, she’s my writing buddy. We share the same writing woes and joys and both understand that the other one is officially around the bend. She’s the sort of person I can call, say “I have a problem!” and she’ll drop whatever she’s doing and say “Okay, what is it?”
But even so, these girls are human. Mind you, they’re some of the best humans I know – but they’re still flawed humans. They won’t always be able to talk on the phone, they will sometimes be busy, we may hurt each other’s feelings.
Proverbs 18: 24 says that There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
I read it, but often I forget that God is my friend. He is my heavenly BFF, he’s my divine Kindred Spirit. He’s the one who will always be available, the One who is always ready to listen to you vent about frustration, cry about things that make you sad. He will smile as you talk about friends, guys, and life – and will hold you if you need a shoulder to cry on.
He’s always there for you. I can call him and say “I have a problem!” And no matter what, 24/7, He will be there to say “Okay, what is it? How can I help?”
I talk to my best friends several times a week. I email them all the time. I write them letters. But so often I forget to talk to God, the One who is always there, the One who is always eager to help and who has the power to fix the problems in my life.
Let’s not forget who the real BFF in this world is – and the next time you feel low, how about talking to Him before going to your other friends?
True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and value.
- Ben Jonson
MIRRIAM NEAL
I am many things, but I’ll just share a few of them with you right now.
I am, first and foremost, a Christian, and have been since I was six years old. I love the Lord and am trying to please Him to the best of my ability. I am an avid reader, and lean toward fiction although several of my favorite books (the Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien, Blue Like Jazz, Primal, The Barbarian Way, the Soul of C. S. Lewis, etc.) are non-fiction.
I love animals, and I love music (soundtracks, Christian, Korean and K-pop, some secular music, Immediate Music, X-ray Dog, Taylor Swift, Josh Groban, Michael Buble, Owl City, Hayley Westenra… the list goes on and on). My favorite movies are the Last of the Mohicans, G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, Inkheart, the Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Robin Hood(s), Star Trek, IRIS (Korean drama – use caution when watching), the Fantastic Four(s), the Spider-mans, Batman Begins, Iron Man, (I love Hero movies) and many, many more. (read more…)
Trust God for Your Success – Michelle Medlock Adams
“Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.” (Proverbs 16:3 AMP)
Lord, I’m not going to worry anymore about my plans and my ultimate success. I trust You, Lord, with all of my hopes and dreams. I know I can trust You, Lord. I know that You want the very best for me. Lord, I want my plans to be Your plans. I don’t want to walk outside of Your will for even one moment. I am rolling all of this over to You, Father, and I’m asking that You help me to leave it with You. It’s my nature to try and do it all myself, but Lord, I know that’s not Your way. From now on, I give it all to You, and I am confident that You will cause me to succeed.
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